Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Let's cure some cancer.

I just clicked on the "new post" button and I started going like "this video is a video response to Savannah" until I realized that it isn't an actual video response. So let's try something new!

Basically, the question Savannah asked was about someone who changed your life, the most influential person you've met. I planned on thinking these things through before I take to my college application so that I have them all figured out before I start rambling about it. But this one got me thinking for the entire ride from home to school. (which was long because road builders who work nearby found a bomb JUST IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. It was an unexploded ordnance from WW2, but still getting out of house was kind of hard with all the sappers around and buses out of schedule. Just a fun fact. It made me realize that there might well be unexploded bombs underneath my garage. I'm cool with that though.)

I became aware, with a reasonable extent of concern, that it's a little too hard for me to pick the most influential person among the NOT-book characters and NOT-imagined friends and NOT-people from the internet than it would be considered normal. I think I might have been a very lonely child because the ones I could really think of were this list of nots. So even now when I think I worked it out, it's not a 100% sure choice. It's more about the process of finding this one influential person so I think it might be clearer for me when I'm done with this post.

After some serious thinking done on the bus while fighting for breath, I am ready to say that the person that's changed a lot in my life was our choir conductor in high school.  When I first came to the choir rehearsal I was 13. She was nice, but not too much, she was open to work with us, but she got furious when we did something not the way she wanted us to.
The funniest thing about those rehearsals was the fact that I enjoyed them and hated them at the same time. Today, again in public transportation (only it was the other way this time) I was thinking if John really likes writing his books. I mean sure he must enjoy his career, his writing, he has passion for his stories; otherwise he wouldn't be a writer, right? But I'm thinking about the very moment when he was like "Okay, dishes done, let's write some of that book". Does he really enjoy that very particular moment? Or is he more like "Oh no, all these words to write and no coffee, I'm so going to bed now"? I tend to think that while he enjoys his work as a writer in general, the particular activity of mere writing is more of a struggle.

It was the same with my choir. I loved the choir, I loved the program, people and all that we've accomplished. But at the same time it was a struggle to live through these rehearsals. Because, God, they were exhausting! They were very emotional, many times people ended up crying or were too scared to actually sing. But after we got some pieces ready for the show - it was completely different. Suddenly we realized that we COULD sing, that we were good. That our conductor actually appreciated us and was proud of us. That she was able to show us the same amount of love as of exigency.

I think that if I were to choose one person, I would say that she taught me some of the most important lessons. The one about working hard, the one about reaching high and the one about putting as much effort and as much passion into things I do as I can.

And I somewhat believe that it can be parallel to this "Go and cure some cancer! Now!" thing. Because we actually accomplished something working super hard, putting all our heart into the work, getting so sick of it eventually that we needed to be additionally stimulated to even show up to these rehearsals. But maybe this is how we should cure this cancer and all the other impossible things? We definitely shouldn't let go. Cause if John went to bed this one time, and another, and another, who would remind us to imagine people complexly?

So eff, yeah! Let's go and cure some cancer!

Thanks Savannah for these awesome thoughts!

Song of the day: Blackberry Stone - Laura Marling

But maybe John enjoys every moment of his writing just for the sake of writing. I don't really know.

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