Saturday, April 30, 2011

The one in which caffeine looses its power and grammar doesn't seem necessary anymore.

Lately I've been thinking without cease about one issue. Well, not just one issue, but this one keeps popping up in between all this other commotion in my head. And believe me, my head has been on fire lately. By the way, do you have any tips as to how to calm down the party in your head? I tried breathing, trying to focus on one object, closing eyes but it  doesn't work. I wish my thoughts had an on and an off switch.

And I am sorry if that post isn't posted on Friday/ Saturday night. I think I might accidentally fall asleep. I am just so tired. (I actually fell asleep writing An Open Letter To YouTube and I never found out if it actually made any sense because reading what I wrote then seemed too daunting).  You know what's funny? This assumption that if you do something in your bed you'll do it just as effectively as you would do at your escritoire (see, what I did there? Oh my, it's late). And you NEVER do but nevertheless you'll do that again next time. ("I'll study in bed later this evening, my desk is just so messy, I can't work here" is a classic.) But we all know how that ends...

I think that my miserable state is somewhat reinforced by the fact that I'm reliving my childhood by listening to Disney music in Swedish at the moment. When I was little my mum really wanted me to pick up some Swedish so I watched all the Disney movies in Swedish. It basically means that I usually feel very out of place when people start singing them. Because I just don't know regular lyrics.

Also, I now think that if  I had some superpowers I would most probably choose the power to animate inanimate objects so that I could take the life away from them. Like, my freakin' bus. I hate my bus. I think that if I were able to actually kill it, that would make me feel calmer. In the end, I know I wouldn't have guts to do it, I imagine it now being a proper living entity... that would be the meanest creature in the entire universe, I'm sure of it.

So what I've been thinking about... I'm extremely stressed when I think about what to do with my life. It's not that I'm afraid there will be no job for me or that I won't make as much money as I would like to. I don't even care about it. All I fear is to be stranded in a job I don't like. I have always wished to do something unusual, something I would be passionate about, not something boring. First I thought I was heading for a ballet dancer career but that didn't work out (also that would be a very stupid idea health-wise). But in the end, I don't really need to have a proper career. I can be an owner of an ice-cream cart. I just want to feel accomplishment. Ice-cream induced one would certainly be amazing. So I think it's time for a quick list of the coolest jobs.

  • astronaut (I was taking this very seriously in the past. Then I went to high school level physics.)
  • travel journalist/blogger
  • grammar fairy
  • castle caretaker/ tour guide/ most preferably owner (I have this thing for castles)
  • president of a medieval reconstruction group
  • caretaker of The Cemetery of the Forgotten Books (Zafon, anyone?)
  • Miley Cyrus
  • owner of a bookshop/cafe kind of place
  • fortune cookie writer
  • 5000+ episodes-long soap operas writer (The Bold and the Beautiful!)
  • slush-pile reader
  • rockstar
  • pastor  
I know how well the two last ones go together. I think I may be trying that out in the near future.

I don't know. I'm just really, really tired.

Other than that, let me just amuse you with an excerpt of an article I read today. It was about a woman whose husband used to be a catholic priest but now he's a catechist (I guess he took that decision so that he could marry her). She said something like: "I understand why my husband doesn't like me talking about God so lively. He works for Him several hours a day; God is his work, after all he must want to have some rest at home". I laughed SO HARD.

Song of the day: Jag ska göra män av er nu - Mulan 
(take a look at the first three comments. They are epic.)

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