My motivation is like a product approaching its expiration date in your fridge. You know you have to use it quickly, entirely and effectively, but you just can't look at all the food you bought because you thought you'd consume it all. And of course you were wrong. Oh, how wrong were I thinking I could deal with all the items I packed into my shopping cart. Out of this madness I didn't make it for our YPO anniversary with my friends. But all the pantsers, if you are reading this, I'll make it up to you next week, I promise. I'll have something absolutely awesome!!!
In the spirit of our anniversary, I took a close-up look upon those past six months. And you know, I can definitely say that they changed my life as quickly and as strikingly as it never had happened before. It's not only because I gained great new friends that, oh my goodness, finally "get it" and that I got involved in a whole bunch of new fun internet projects, but the fact that those two factors accompanied my lifetime milestone (how I missed those cliches in my blog) is somewhat significant. Let's make a list then. Just because we like listing, don't we?
1. I got baptized. Even though I was a converted christian before and I believed it would be just a symbol of confessing my faith and showing that I in fact do give everything to Christ, it was so much more. It was a life-changing day, it was indeed not only a token but I real baptism in Holy Spirit and a clear and definite declaration. Jesus is my number one. Period.
2. I noticed a really bizarre change in myself. I think it's the Holy Spirit's business because there is literally no way I could get like that and we all now that our God hates chaos. I, insert first and last name, actually started to care about cleaning. Before I was a typical hamstering creature that amassed every bus ticket, cardboard box or peanut butter jar (they really do come in handy sometimes) in the abyss of my attic and my garage (also, every other drawer). Now I turned into this Anthea Turner - type of person. It really really does scare me. I started my campaign to chuck every useless item in my house, so you're welcome if you can't fit stuff in yours. Because my house is 28 bags of rubbish emptier. And since I work a lot I usually do it all at night. For example, three days ago I couldn't sleep anymore and so this brilliant idea to clean the medicine drawer at 4 AM popped up in my mind. Well, this adventure ended up in my cat being literally drugged as a result of rolling in all of the expired herbal teas I had had and me having to lock her up in another room. But then she started meowing so hard because she's a drug-addict and, I swear, she woke up the whole street.
3. So future, hum? 6 months ago I would be freaking out at the mere sound of this word, now I know certain things for sure. First, don't care too much, because caffeine isn't that great in abuse and you might lose your hair. Second, you can do whatever you like to do, you just have to believe (Hillary Duff reference again, I am truly shamefaced). I couldn't believe I would get back to ballet and (after dancing 8 hours a day for a week) decided it was possible to get back to ballet school. Which I'm in fact in the process of doing. Third, I think I finally know what I want to do with my life,or at least I have some alternative. So that's reassuring. Huh, a breath of relief, and we can start brain-cracking over something else. For example...
4. You know, 18 is that time when you come across some crucial decisions and have to stop for a while and just think these life-and-death issues through. For example, I finally found some time to contemplate the problems of the names for my children. Not that I'm planning anything. You just have to have a plan B.
So here I go: Elizabeth, Esther, Edgar. Don't be hatin'. I've no idea what's the thing with the E.
5. I got over one thing of mine. That's one thing forward.
6. I met a life-changing friend. The one who sets your priorities in order. The one who can make you cry again and who make you feel grateful for everything. And the one with whom you can eat tomato soup in abuse. Every freakin' day.
7. My dear friends from YPO. I rarely say this, because I don't want to go sentimental (that's not true, I'm just to busy to make it every Monday. Or ANY Monday. This has been a sad time for Mondays...) but I really appreciate how similar and how different we are. I really appreciate the difference of age and how I don't feel it at all. And I love you.
8. Oh well. That's the season. The universities started spamming my mailbox. The University of Washington sent me their brochure and since then I've been super pumped about Seattle. So who knows? Just give me that 38 K $ and I'm gonna be okay.
I have so much more, but some of them I don't want to share and some of them I don't remember and in addition, the sun hurts my eyes. So I should get going. One more thing - this week is gonna be awesome, so I wish you'd have fun during your weeks as well. I'm a bit sad I'm not BEDA-ing this month but I'm gathering my strengths for NaNoWriMo. I hope I can make it this year, so at least I'll try to write a bit more frequently. That's about it.
Song of the day: Niech Krolestwo Twe (Sorry, I doubt I ever inserted any Polish christian song? :)