Unearth it I must!

This post is like Voldemort's soul. It comes to you in eight parts.


Part 1. Since I avoid doctors as I can, I really get excited when I get a very accurate medical diagnosis. My eye hurt like listening to Ke$ha, so I went to the eye doctor. He told me "I'm afraid you blink too little" (apparently that's what gets you an eye infection) . All I wanted to say to this was "Hey, I'm a Doctor Who fan" at the same time concocting in my brain a letter to BBC to take Doctor Who down, because look at what the "don't blink" meme has done to me. But looking on the bright side, I finally got a prescription for new glasses. Because a 200$ expense is exactly the kind of joy I'm dreaming of!


Part 2. I finally know what is wrong with "Vicky Christina Barcelona". This movie has been bothering me for a while and I couldn't get why everybody's more excited for a Woody Allen than I am. Until I rewatched it with a resolution "Unearth it I must!" (please, understand, I've seen EVERY SINGLE movie of Allen's and read every single one of his publications, there was no way I could feel so ambiguous about this one). So I did. And I discovered that the characters are extremely badly written! That's really painful for me to write about Allen, but holy mackerel! Can you actually imagine someone with personality like Juan Antonio? I don't think he's coherent in whatever he does, on the one hand all this decadent and self-indulgent outlook, on the other he seems like he does in fact care. For me he's the most dramatic one here, but it's hard to feel for him, 'cause he's just too bland. I wouldn't hold Scarlett Johansson responsible for a terrible impersonation of Christina as it's only one of her numerous wishy-washy roles. But Vicky? Does this girl know first thing about life? It's like she's totally different in the first and second parts of the movie. I can't seem to understand them.


Part 3. It's amazing how I started writing my essay for French some 11 hours ago and everything I've got so far is a rough draft of the introduction and 'premierement' at the beginning of the second paragraph.


Part 4. The other Sunday I had to thumb a ride to get to church. (?! Let me repeat that. ?!!!!!!) The state of my city right now is pure Hellmouth. I got so excited when I saw a bus going from my home neck of the woods to Ogrody, which -you can't know that- is in my case the most desirable place to go in any situation and otherwise it takes an hour and a half to get there. So I walk up to the driver, all psyched that I can minimize my commute to work and ask if that's true what's written on the light board. You know what he says? "Nope. We're kicking off for April Fools' Day". Oh, my life.


Part 5. Tomorrow's gonna be my third attempt at going to school this week. I know that Bible says not to give up. But maybe the question is if God really wants me there. (probably far-fetched interpretation of Biblical teachings. But seriously, every time I try to go my eye is getting worse)


Part 6. I'm entering the last month of high school, to which I can say - I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm not the happiest among my namesakes (there's only 600 of us so I feel like that's a safe assumption). This was worse than anything. I do appreciate you, school, but please just go away.


Part 7. If there's actually anyone reading this (my bad, I know I'm not consistent :), I could really use your help with planning my best friend's birthday party menu. Right now I've decided only on drinks, which (stolen from my favorite Seattle dork team at Kristina's :) are to be Hunger Games-themed. You can't help everyone drinking, but you can keep your liquor creative. Anyway, so I feel so like bursting-with-responsibility Percy with a P-badge on his chest, also I feel a certain Desperate Housewife- syndrome here, but well... I need to get this menu right! So please, leave your suggestions. I'll probably be grouching about it all throughout April, so no worries. Party menu. BIG TIME.


Part 8. Some other stuff I want to say to some of you:
Melinda - you're lovely and I miss your face
Nicole - I want to hear all about Amsterdam!
Hayley - don't set fire to the rain!
Kathy S - whenever you post the pictures of your husband and you, it's like cute-o-pocalypse happening on the screen :)
Ania - Hunger Games movie discussion soon?


Song of the day: Exile Vilify - The National (sidenote one. I really wanted to get rid of the memories from Sweden connected to this song. And I guess I did, 'cause the only thing I see now is teaching my American friend Theresa the Polish word for "vilify" and her laughter. Sidenote two: if we're talking about TN - I can't believe that Birdy's cover of Terrible Love is the first suggestion on the YouTube search bar. Okay, she is good. But that's not how it should work. Adele/ Bob Dylan - likewise. This is SO not right)


Verse of the day: "My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge." Psalm 62:7

Sense/sensibility (underline when applicable)

I'm finally starting to get the idea of arranged marriages. You trust someone who just knows better what is good for you. It's like missing mom when you're finally adult - you enjoy all this liberty but on the other hand you wish someone would you tell you that you GET TO BED THIS MOMENT. Now that we're not kids anymore we have to analyze the situation and choose the reasonable option. But that's the problem with having to choose yourself. If I could pack all the feelings and emotions in a box and push it down the cellar stairs I would. But you know what? Every single romantic comedy has a 'listen to your heart' line. And we're automatically programmed to work by 'sensibility', not 'sense'.


Song of the day: People Help the People - Birdy (I dedicate this song to Melinda. I have a feeling you'll like it. Tell me if I'm mistaken)

Verse of the day: These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

What's on my desk?

I guess I officially changed the 'blog everyday in 2012' resolution into the  'blog frequently in 2012' one. I really feel like blogging at this moment!
So what is happening? I'm sitting at my desk, with my cat Prim (she came before Hunger Games!) continuously trying to place her chin on the keyboard and flipping out whenever I start typing again. When I start typing really fast and the words form themselves on the white of the screen, looking like little ants marching from left to right, she grows considerably more interested and observant. I'm probably gonna have to keep her away from the computer as she might just start jumping at the letters moving fast.
By my right hand stands a 2L thermos full of earl grey tea with raspberry syrup and by my left hand is a purple mug full of the same liquid. I kind of just thought of the tag that I might do right now. So that's how we end up with an enormous number of those?
Near to the cup is my CASIO scientific calculator, which I intend to sell, because my school made me buy it for chemistry classes, but hey, I am not allowed to use it during my finals, I need to get another, simpler one. School is so logical. 
By my right hand there is a stack of books I'm gonna need for my final presentation: literature dictionary, dictionaries of symbols, cultural traditions, myths and everyday objects. Next a magazine clipping on those types of presentations and a notebook where I keep record of all my expenses.
Next, a bookmark (orange with the silhouettes of cats. I must tell you that the notebook and mug mentioned above do have different representations of cats on them as well. I definitely have a thing for cats.) A ziaja olive hand cream, which you should be sad about since it's a brilliant hand lotion and unfortunately you can get it only in Poland. A timetable printed from the Internet for the bus 93 (one that goes from one of the main tramway stations to my church). A study plan (!!!) for March (it says here that I should prepare this crazy final presentation. Like I could forget about it). Next an eco-friendly shopping bag, my family allowance balance from last year, a basket full of pens and pencils (note the magnificent  zig-zag blade scissors! They're so third grade!). A smurf pin that I used to keep on my wallet but it kept falling off. Next there is a desk organizer which does to my papers everything but organize them. A glimpse on that: Visa Application, College Costs Breakdown, my Immunization Record :D, Bible quiz book, more college stuff, blah, photos of Paris, college stuff, my Hannah Montana paper block, a NaNoWriMo planning notebook, college stuff.
A ton of post-it notes. Most of them pink. A big big file organizer with: photos from my cousin's wedding, a Ballet 2000 magazine from June, Johnny Depp filmography, a notebook all filled with things written in runes all over it!, old newspapers (2007), New Year's Resolutions from 2010, sheets of correspondence with the Polish Ambassador in Russia, a map of Berlin and a script from two trainings for Sunday School teachers.
Okay so that's all. My desk is boring. See you tomorrow! Oh, and I tag everyone who reads it. Okay, I tag Nicole ;)
Song of the day: The Scientist - Coldplay
Verse of the day: For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29: 11-13

Chapter 34

A child may ask, "What is the world's story about?"and a grown man or woman may wonder,  "what  way will the world go? How does it end and, while we're at it, what's the story about?"


I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one, that has frightened and inspired us so that we live in a Pearl White serial of continuing thought and wonder. Humans are caught - in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too - in a net of good and evil. I think this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence. Virtue and vice were warp and woof of our first consciousness, and they will be the fabric of our last, and this despite any changes we may impose on field and river and mountain, on economy and manners. There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well - or ill?


Herodotus, in the Persian War, tells a story of how Croesus, the richest and most-favored king of his time, asked Solon the Athenian a leading question. He would not have asked it if he had not been worried about the answer. "Who," he asked, "is the luckiest person in the world?" He must have been eaten with doubt and hungry for reassurance. Solon told him of three lucky people in old times. And Croesus more than likely did not listen, so anxious was he about himself. And when Solon did not mention him, Croesus was forced to say, "Do you consider me lucky?"
Solon did not hesitate in his answer. "How can I tell?" he said. "You aren't dead yet."
And this answer must have haunted Croesus dismally as his luck disappeared, and his wealth and his kingdom. And as he was being burned on a tall fire, he may have thought of it and perhaps wished he had not asked or not been answered. 
And in our time, when a man dies - if he has had wealth and influence and power and all the vestments that arouse envy, and after the living take stock of the dead man's property and his eminence and works and monuments- the question is still in there: Was his life good or was it evil? - which is another way of putting Croesus's question. Envies are gone and the measuring stick is: "Was he loved or was he hated? Is his death felt as a loss or does a kind of joy come of it?"


I remember clearly the deaths of three man. One was the richest man of the century, who, having clawed his way to wealth through the souls and bodies of men, spent many years trying to buy back the love he had forfeited and by that process performed great service to the world and, perhaps, had much more than balanced the evils of his rise. I was on a ship when he died. The news was posted on the bulletin board, and nearly everyone received the news with pleasure. Several said "Thank God that son of a bitch is dead."
Then there was a man, smart as Satan, who, lacking some perception of human dignity and knowing all too well every aspect of human weakness and wickedness, used his special knowledge to warp men, to buy men, to bribe and threaten and seduce until he found himself in a position of great power. He clothed his motives in the names of virtue, and I have wondered whether he ever knew that no gift will ever buy back a man's love when you have removed his self-love. A bribed man can only hate his briber. When this man died the nation rang with praise and, just beneath, with gladness that he was dead.
There was a third man, who perhaps made many errors in performance but whose effective life was devoted to making men brave and dignified and good in a time when they were poor and frightened and when ugly forces were loose in the world to utilize their fears. This man was hated by the few. When he died the people burst into tears in the streets and their minds wailed, "What can we do now? How can we go on without him?"


In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world.
We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly respawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal. Vice has always a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is.


Chapter 34 from East of Eden by John Steinbeck.


Song of the day: Archive- Again


Verse of the day: Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Psalm 73:25-26