So much crazy stuff has happened since I last wrote anything on there. I came to an appreciation of having a buddy at a war, since there was a lot of areas of my life to fight for. Also, a simple conclusion followed: I pretty much suck at doing anything by myself. I see that without the power of Holy Spirit in my life I am a hollow vessel and I let all kinds of baloney inside, but then again I'm not even good at holding that, so that's a bummer. Many people say that my outlook is pessimistic, but really, it's all about knowing where your worth is coming from. I know it comes neither from what I've done, cause there's nothing noble in that, nor from what my character is like. The answer is simple: it's all about WHO I am. And I am a daughter of a King, so that's something to bowl over.
That being said I wanna say that nothing REALLY changed all that much, and that I want to get back to blogging just as if these couple of months didn't make a difference. In reality, they did, it's just that I didn't feel like sharing the wonders God has been working in my life. However, through that, I am a different person now. I have more faith in His promises, I am flabbergasted over His kindness, and feel like I value myself more through having more trust in my God and His people. So I guess I will be recounting the wonders of the last months after all.
First, I finished school. A traumatizing experience for the most part, but the relief was a serious thing too. After bidding goodbye to my nemesis hidden in Hogwarts-like walls I never went back, but got a job at a mall. Through working a 14-hour shift almost everyday for as much as $1.5 an hour I started resembling something that might have been cast for Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. But that was okay, cause I fell in love along the way, so my zombie face zeroed out with my cupid face. Eventually, I ended up loving my boyfriend for all the reasons in the world and no reason at all at the same time, and got involved in something that promises to be the first ever successful long-distance relationship. And I'm talking over 6 K miles long-distance. We mastered long-distance so well that long-distanceness should pay us rent or something. Seriously though.
I also had to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life. I was feeling numb for the longest time, which is probably normal if through caring after somebody for over a year, every day you know that you accompany them to the grave, and the only thing you can really do is show more and more love. Even if other stuff that happened were just random occurrences, losing my beloved aunt to cancer would definitely be the thing that changed me the most.
Shortly after that I moved to Philly. I fell in love with the city, with my college and with the friends I made so soon (one of the biggest wonders. I am not a person to make friends quickly or let others be friends with me for that matter, either). Moving to the US after being away for 13 years (!) was sure difficult, especially with having to set up all the legal stuff, and not having anybody to assist my financially here or back home. But wait, did I just say that? So I shouldn't have. Because I had God all along. Jesus' work on the cross might not seem like something done to provide for you financially, and that's true, but being His kid you get just as much as you need. And it didn't matter that I literally had no money on me whatsoever two days before I was supposed to board the plane. Cause money always came "randomly", or say "magically", just when I needed it. BOOM. Mind blown. Sure, when I didn't have essential needs, there were times that I was as broke as I have never been before, but that's okay, cause I had wonderful friends and Auntie Anne's coupons for pretzels.
Now I am as blessed as to sponsor a child from Africa. It has been my dream since two years ago, but I didn't really have the right heart to do this. Now I have the heart and resources, and the idea of loving someone from so far away makes my soul aflutter. And even though Jenifer lives in Ghana, every day I wake up and wanna wrap my arms around that little girl and share with her all that I got into stewardship.
I probably should conclude this in some mysterious English-majory way, so let me just say: HAPPY TIMES. Not necessarily joyful, but unwaveringly happy for sure.
Verse of the day: "When they see among them their children, the work of my hands, they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of the God of Israel. Those who are wayward in spirit will gain understanding; those who complain will accept instruction" Isaiah 29:23-24
Song of the day: Guilt Train - Alexz Johnson