Taking a breath.

O sweet spontaneous

earth how often have

the

doting

          fingers of

purient philosophers pinched

and

poked

thee

,has the naughty thumb

of science prodded

thy

      beauty      .how

oftn have religions taken

thee upon their scraggy knees

squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive

gods

        (but

true

to the incomparable

couch of death thy

rhythmic

lover

          thou answerest

them only with

                        spring)

e.e. cummings

Song of the day: Clementine - Sarah Jaffe

Verse of the day: Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

The grossest things in the world

1. Orthodontia
2. Wet koalas

Feeling asymmetrical.

I love it how different symmetry and asymmetry are. And that's true, I've always loved Vihart's videos and as long as I had an A, would claim that math is my second-favorite subject in school (when I didn't, I felt a little bit more bitter towards it. Because I really really tried and it frustrated me when math was ungrateful of my trying). But I'm talking more about movements. Just mere looking at how symmetrical  a shape is can of course evoke emotions, and you get that nervous-rendering feeling that something is off, when the shape is not symmetrical, but sometimes the differences are minute or it doesn't concern you that much if they're not. But with movement, it relates to your own body and it does affect how you feel. I realized it just today and it truly baffles me.

Just the mere fact that standing in a symmetrical position makes you feel more balanced emotionally (like actually. I don't mean in in any New Age spirituality crap. If feels just like that moment when you're having a lemonade and watch a Target haul on Youtube. Or is it just me?).  I feel like this past week especially I've been doing a really substandard job at keeping myself symmetrical; every time I try to get something done the inner voice tells me to go to the farcically expensive campus store to get a jar of kosher pickles. Afterwards I just eat the entire jar right away, usually making it in time of an average tea-making. I don't know what it is that makes me do that, I guess I finally have proof that those female hormones are real. Super asymmetrical. Alarming even I dare say.

There is another observation I made today, but it may be controversial. It seems to me that at least 65% who say "I'll shoot you an e-mail about it " NEVER EVER do so (also, 60% of statistics is made up). However, that's not the gist of my observation, since it was part of my experience at least since my sociology teacher in high school. The new impression from today is that people who are in the process of sending you an e-mail virtually the moment when you're talking to them, end up sending you the message twice. This situation happens to me way too many times, its nadir being today when I got three e-mails from the Financial Aid office, all sent at the same minute, notably: when I was there. Oh well, I guess it's better to have a duplicate (and a duplicate of the duplicate too), than being ignored.

It's just weird.

Verse of the day: Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord. 2 Corinthians 10:17

Song of the day: Don't stop - Alexz Johnson

BEDA shouldn't start on a Monday.

For a couple of days I was trying to pretend that BEDA is not approaching, and was quite successful at it. The same time of year two years ago I was dying from jitters dreading April Fools' Day having already made up my mind about writing every day. Surprisingly, I succeeded, so maybe it would be wiser for me not to try again, so that I could say I did BEDA every time I tried it. Just now, in my mind, I was thinking of Miss Rachel who didn't try the baking contest after having her lemon cake win it, but then I realized it was in a book.

Actually, I was just thinking about it today: every once in a while I have a conversation where I say something like: "And then I married this guy that saved my sister from disgrace by paying her boyfriend to marry her... oh, wait, that was Jane Austen". And then I wonder when people comment on how interesting my life is.

Anyway, today the spring term started, and in one of my classes we were supposed to write a short bio for the teacher to have as a reference. I surprisingly listed "journaling" as my hobby, but realized later on that in my mind I probably meant "blogging". See, that's the thing: I do love the idea of journaling. I hate reading my journal entries. I guess the idea that someone else will eventually be reading whatever you've written motivates you to control your haranguing habits. Journaling does not. I do have proof.

Would that mean now that I'm doing BEDA in order to improve the quality of my writing within the journal format? Certainly doesn't seem so when you read today's maudlin post. But, hey.

Verse of the day: He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Romans 4:25

Song of the day: Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks - The National